you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
