I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Randomize