I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize