Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
operation have a gay friend backfired
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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