i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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