Your face is a jimmy john
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize