I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm sobbing to NWA
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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