I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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