Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
