real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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