Sponge bath it is.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
