I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
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You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
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SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize