Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
