Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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