I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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