fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Couch. On fire.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
