So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
