Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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