weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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