Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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