i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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