I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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