Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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