Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
