Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
