The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
