All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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