He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Enjoy the penises
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
