Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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