what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
