Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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