i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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