4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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