do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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