Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
