Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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