So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
