Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
They have beer where we have blood.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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