you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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