He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just cut my nipple shaving
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
