sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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