Plan B is the new Plan A
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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