So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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