I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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