we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
