I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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