Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
