His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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