I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
