we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
