Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
