i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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