I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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