ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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