found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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